Shortly after I posted our struggle with home being vacant, we found a renter!  Praise God!!  I would not have dreamed anyone would want to move during the holidays.  The renter wants to move in as soon as possible and preferably before Thanksgiving.

It’s been three months since we arrived in our upstairs duplex apartment in St. Paul based solely on God’s call and a leap of faith.  In these three short months, we are amazed at what God can and will do if you are obedient to His call. Our last two moves, God has shown me His presence and provision.  It’s strange how we convince ourselves that drastic changes will cause far more disruption than it is worth.  Once we are willing to make those drastic changes, we find they not only reveal what we have been settling for, but the drastic changes were necessary.  We have been putting God’s promises to the test like never before.  He promises that He loves us and knows our needs more than we do.  The one who has benefited from this truth the most has been Lynn.  As her mother, the thought never came to my mind…. You know what Lynn needs… to move to the city.  Lynn is not surviving, but thriving!  I was concerned about her missing the best back yard in Red Wing (yes, we had it!), her neighbor friend, her small private school, etc.  Sure, she was nervous her first week or so.  I am seeing her come to life more and more each day.  She and Gideon soak up the constant movement and noises of city life.  Well, St. Paul is nothing like other cities we are familiar with.  It sort of reminds us of a friendly suburb where neighbors interact and love to.  Our neighbors on each side found us to be a sight for sore eyes.  They were both relieved to find a family had moved in and asked us to please consider staying.  Our neighborhood and Lynn’s school is extremely diverse in terms of race and other backgrounds.  I absolutely LOVE IT!  We finally found a place where people make eye contact and are interested in hearing how different I am as I listen to how different they are!  I believed leaving Minnesota all together was the only way to find such an environment. 

As for Jeremy and I, we are quickly immersing ourselves in ministries.  Jeremy’s fear was that I would be gone doing one ministry after another while he was at home alone with the kids.  Now, he is out and about more than I am.   We continue to assist within the church plant in prayer, leading a small group, and heading up nursery.  Recently, we were welcomed into the beginning stages of a ministry for young men and woman lead by a man named, Quest.  Jeremy’s gifts, talents, and no nonsense reasoning are blossoming in this ministry.  I can’t wait until he comes home each meeting to share what happened and he is excited to share.  I love seeing him become the man of God I know he can be.  He does not enjoy the push, but always flourishes. 

Our only disappointment thus far is that our home is not rented out and remains vacant.  I am not sure what God has in mind for this stagnant part of the puzzle, but I am being stretched in how much I trust Him.  It was not until we left our home, I realized how many things I was just living with.  Since the painful end to our adoption, that home is filled with pain to me.  We bought it for our adoption.  I had no intention of purchasing a home in Minnesota.  As I passed by Lynn’s room, I thought of all the times she watched for the neighbor girl and prayed for a friend.  I peered into Gideon’s room knowing that deep within me… that room will always be Levi’s to me.  My kitchen contained the most popular electric stove on the market and I hated it.  I’ve always hated it.  Our home is beautiful and wonderful.  I ask you to pray alongside me that a family will enjoy it for what it is.  Thank you for all of your prayers and support in our move to St. Paul!  I can’t wait to keep you updated on all that God is doing!

Public school is typically my last choice… before homeschooling, but God has other plans for our lovely Lynn.  It is time for me to face my fears and past hurts to allow healing to begin.  Each week is a challenge to give more to God in this area of public school.  Seeing Lynn progressing and enjoying this new school environment gets me through it all.  At our latest parent/teacher conference, Lynn’s teacher told us in her 28 years of teaching, she has not seen a child as diligent about her homework as Lynn is.  You can see a picture of her school and another of her with the school mascot, the panda.  Each morning, she gives him a “high five” to start her day.

Lynn’s last day of day camp was today.  During lunch, there is a performance for the parents.  Lynn stressed about how much she wanted Gideon and I to go, but there was a huge storm coming.  After a down pour, I saw that I had just enough time to get there if I was fast.  I buckled Gideon in, hit the garage door opener and floored it….. unfortunately, before the door was all the way open.  Now I was stuck.  After calling Jeremy, I continued cleaning to calm down.  As I started mopping, my swiffer snapped in half!  Whew!  What a day…..

It appears the Lord enjoys the blessings and comforts He has bestowed upon us over the last couple of years.  He has placed on our hearts it is time for a change.  Though I am nervous, I am beginning to see the good in breaking out of comfort.  I’ve dreamed of obtaining the American dream for since I was a teenager.  I suppose my personal definition has always been to get my college degree, have a career, have a great husband if marriage was for me, have children, and give those children more than what I had.  To me, the American dream is to strive for better and not settle for what is “normal” or “average”.  As I take a good look at my life, I find that I have done it.  I’ve achieved all that I wanted….with the exception of a career of my own.  I’m here, where I wanted and I find myself asking, “So, now what?”  What from here is maintenance of my “American Dream” or a bigger house, additions, better cars, more technology, etc.  It’s just more stuff. 

Where does God want for us to go from here?  We left our directing up to the direction of Jeremy’s job.  He recently applied for a position as work week manager.  It was a position neither one of us thought he would get because it required more experience and was a major jump in position.  If he did not get the job, our attention would head toward contracting with an anticipated move this summer.  If he got the job, we knew that meant God was leading us toward a move to St. Paul.  To our surprise and a series of bizarre events, Jeremy got the job!  Once receiving the good news, we both took a big gulp and knew it was time to put talk into action. 

In the last couple of months, the Horners have begun “Operation: St. Paul”.  This mission entails finding a place to rent in St. Paul, finding renters for our home in Red Wing, finding a school for Lynn, and all that is goes with a move….all in three short months.  Shortly after saying “yes” to the call, we found a rental home in St. Paul.  We are to move in at the end of August.  As we surveyed the area surrounding our new home, we found that there is a school within walking distance that would be perfect.  There are a few hiccups that may just appear to be hiccups to us.  She is on a waiting list and should be accepted into another good school nearby if she is not accepted into the first school.  The other hiccup is both are public schools.  I am nervous about sending Lynn to anything but private for many reasons.  I endured plenty of neglect/abuse in the public school and both of us find the product that comes from public school is less than desirable.  For instance, Jeremy and I still laugh that we were both taught that the pilgrims who founded this country, founded this country because they really liked sailing…not because they were seeking religious freedom.   Through prayer, we continually come to the conclusion that the public school is what the Lord has in mind for Lynn.  The prayer group I am apart of has been praying for us each step of the way and given amazing amounts of encouragement when needed. 

I believe the Lord has big plans for the Horners in St. Paul.  I believe they are bigger than we can imagine and I can’t wait to share them with you as time goes by.   Our home should soon be available for rent on www.renterswarehouse.com .  Our rental analysis has come out to ask for more than we anticipated and our agent believes we will find renters quickly.  Keep us in your prayers and keep checking for updates.  We have hopes that our leap of faith will inspire others to trust in the Lord with all their hearts, lean not on their own understanding and live as if Jeremiah 29:11 is true and there is nothing to fear.

I hope to figure out a way to post the video we took.  If not, I guess we will try to make copies for the grandparents and you will have to visit your nearest one to see it.

I was given the chance to share our testimony of Gideon before he was dedicated.  Here is the story I shared:

Throughout the duration of our courtship and engagement, Jeremy and I envisioned a life free of children.  The possibility of reliving his childhood of managing dyslexia was an unbearable thought for Jeremy.  As for me, I could not remember the last time I had held a child, let alone, carry any desire for a child of my own.  After nine months of newlywed bliss, we found ourselves deeply yearning for the unthinkable.  Nearly directly following our decision to try, I was pregnant.  We had a little baby girl and a longing for more.  Immediately, I set expectations for another girl and two boys… God willing, right?  After months of trying and no success, medical opinions would uncover that our chances of conceiving again were next to impossible. 

Months became years of trying.  In the midst of it all, God was preparing our hearts for adoption.  We began the process in the early months of 2007 to adopt a little boy or girl from Ethiopia.  For two exhausting years, we endured probing like we had never dreamed.  Pages of our personal records sent off to governments, fingerprinting, and large checks sent in hopes of a child at the end of it all.  Waiting, hoping, and praying.  The day finally came when we received a referral for an 18 month old boy.  I ripped open my laptop to see just a picture.  The first words that came out of my mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks were, “There’s my son!”  This little boy was malnourished and likely to come with many health needs.   Through prayerful consideration, we said, “Yes”.  We intended to name him, Levi because it means, “Joined”.  Levi’s picture sat on the counter for the three of us to see until he was legally ours.  All that was left on our journey was raising the last few thousand of dollars for our trip and completing one last home study from our social worker.  It was smooth sailing from here, or so we thought.  Upon arrival, our social worker concluded our age to be far too young to care for a child in Levi’s condition and the accusations continued.  I honestly believe I felt my face crack right down the middle.  Frantically, I pleaded with the agency for a second opinion.  The only response I received continues to ring in my ears, “Mrs. Horner, this boy is no longer available to you.”  

For the next three months, we put forth our best efforts at moving on and shredding all evidence of Levi from our lives.  Helping our daughter understand the situation proved to be the most difficult.  Each night before bed, Lynn suggested we pray that we could get Levi back because what happened was wrong and surely God would do something, right?  Unable to give her an answer inspired of the Holy Spirit, I gave her the best Christian answer I could give, “Pray for another brother or sister.”  Faithfully, she prayed.  More frequently than not, I would start to cry and try to mask my tears.  Lynn would stop, hand me a tissue, and then go back to praying.

 It was August.  Four months had passed since our adoption was terminated.  Our once nursery had become an office.   We began preparation to put our house for sale.  No matter how hard I tried, I found it more difficult to keep up and began complaining about feeling sick all day long.  You guessed it… I was pregnant!  The news of it being a boy healed my heart.  The Lord restored my womb and gave us the son we were longing for.  Many of Jeremy’s male co-workers volunteered with great enthusiasm once hearing the news that I had given him complete responsibility to name his son.  He chose the name Gideon Zacheriah.  Gideon means mighty warrior and Zacheriah means God remembered.  As my pregnancy progressed, my doctor had a growing concern of his size being too small.  I remember one ultrasound technician said, “Mrs. Horner, are you worried at all about him being small?”  I simply responded, “Of course not, his name is Gideon.”  After bringing him home, Lynn waited for an opportunity to be alone with me to ask a very important question.  “Mommy, why did God give us Gideon?”  I looked straight in her eyes and said, “Because you prayed.”